Events of April 10th 2010

The morning of the surgery was filled with apprehension and anxiety. Susan and I each had several things we needed to wrap up. My mother was an incredible help as she picked up the slack on things we could not get to.

Among other religious practices, prayer and scripture study have always been an important part of our personal worship. Sometime around mid morning, Susan had come into my office with a scriptural reference from a book we recognize as scripture called the Doctrine and Covenants. The reference was from section 84:88. It said…

88. And whoso receiveth you, there I will be also, for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up.

As I read this, it was as if the Lord were speaking to me directly. Although it brought me great comfort at the time, little did I know that these few words were about to be the gateway for my understanding about God’s love for all people.

The time finally came to leave for the hospital. We arrived at noon. I was continually impressed by the efficiency and effectiveness of the entire Ohio State Medical Center. The flow of information, the coordination between departments, and most of all the professionalism and compassion of the staff was unparalleled. It made me proud to be a “Buckeye”….O.H….I.O……

Once I was checked in, and the hospital gown was on, the waiting game began. The surgeon told us I was the last surgery for the day, and even though it was scheduled for 2:00, it more than likely would be closer to 5:00 pm before the surgery was started. Patients on the operating table took top priority, which was fine with me. When it was my turn I didn’t want him worrying about keeping to a schedule! As with most people who are waiting for surgery, I was becoming increasingly nervous. Fatigue finally started to overtake me and I found myself dozing off. During this time, I became keenly aware of each set of footsteps outside the door. The fearful anticipation of “Could these be the footsteps that are coming to wheel me off” kept me from going into too deep of a sleep.

The moment finally came. Susan and I had a very meaningful embrace as we said good bye. I hugged and kissed my mother as well, and then it was off to surgery. We had several close friends come to the hospital that provided companionship and comfort to Susan and my mother while I was in surgery. I am grateful for this selfless service.

As I was waiting in the surgical preparation area I was reminded of the scripture Susan had pointed out earlier that morning and I started to feel more at ease. At that point, I noticed a doctor walk by who was probably in his mid 60’s. As soon as I saw him I thought of my grandpa Williams. I remember as a young boy when my grandpa hugged me, I knew I was both safe and loved. I never had to be afraid when he was around. Come to find out, this doctor was the anesthesiologist assigned to my surgery. He sat down next to me and started to ask the standard questions…Smoke? “No”; Drink Alcohol? “No”; Recreational Drugs? “No”; History of Cancer in family? “No”; What prescription medications have I taken? “None”; Ever had surgery before? “No”; Ever been hospitalized before? “No”; He then asked what type of surgery I was having and I said I was not sure. I could tell he was a bit puzzled by my reply so I shared with him the best case scenario would be to remove part of my colon but if the cancer had moved into my bladder (like it had my liver and lung) I wasn’t sure what would happen. As I was telling him this, all I could see was compassion and concern coming from this man. He then placed his hand on my forearm, looked deep into my soul and said, “Don’t worry, we will take good care of you, you are in good hands”. As he said this, I had the same feeling flow over me that I had earlier that morning when I read the scriptural reference Susan had given me. At that moment I realized that angles are not only on the other side of the veil, but they are on this side as well and when we are in our darkest moments, God reveals Himself to us in the form of other people. That’s not to say other people are God, but they do carry out his work, many times unknowingly, and in them we begin to see God’s characteristics and how they benefit others. I also saw that at the very center of God’s being is LOVE. It radiates from His very core and is extended to everyone. He is no respecter of persons but we need to seek after Him. He will not force His love upon anyone, but if someone chooses to seek after it, they will find it.

I’ve always wondered why God allows some people to suffer while others seem to avoid tragedy. I now know why. God never promised we would be trial free. In Matthew 5:45, Christ said:

......That ye may be the children of your Father which is in heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the evil and on the good, and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust.

It is starting to become clear to me that God’s love for us is not only manifest during the good times, but it is during those dark moments when we feel the most weak and vulnerable that we have the opportunity to see who He really is. It is in these moments of deep humility, if we seek Him, we truly find Him.

Another example of God revealing part of His nature to me came the next morning. The nurse assigned to my floor for the day came into my room and introduced herself. She was happy and cheerful and said, Mr. Williams, I know you had surgery last night. I’m here to let you know one of the best things you can do is to get up and get moving. You don’t have to get up right now, but by tomorrow we will have you marching.” The thing that was so insightful to me was not what she said, but how she said it. The message within the message was this…..Mr. Williams, I know you are hurting, I’ve seen hundreds of patients go through what you’ve just experienced. There isn’t any excuse you can give that I haven’t already heard multiple times, so just know you are going to be getting up and walking. I know it will be difficult, but it’s the best thing for you and I will be right by your side to help you along the way.

Once again, God revealed himself to me through the seemingly everyday action of someone who had engrained within her character the godly attribute of tuff love.