04|19|2010

I choose life!


It occurred to me in a flashing inspiration that there's a time to cry and a time to live. While crying at this juncture in my life is a natural default I am quickly learning that it deprives me of the equal amount of LIVING moments. Crying comes because of what-- I MAY loose, from --POTENTIAL loneliness, from --POSSIBLE separation. But for all of the time my heart is focused on these possibilities I am missing the LIVING MOMENTS!!
NOW is the time to live. To REALLY LIVE. Eat, breath, sleep, LIFE. Now is the time to breath in my Jay boy. Now is the time to memorize his face. Now is the time to listen to the gently, rhythmic beat of his loving heart. Now is the time to allow his voice to echo in my ears. Now is the time be filled with his testimony. Now is the time to feel his lips against mine.
Now is NOT the time to cry. NOW is the time to LIVE!! I CHOOSE LIFE!!

Jay has struggled for the past couple of days. His energy has all but leaked out of him. He is unable to sleep and he is running a low grade fever. I spoke with the surgeon today and he directed us to the outpatient lab at OSU where blood was drawn and analyzed. We meet with Dr. Harzman tomorrow morning (Tuesday) at 7:15 a.m. for the results and for further directions. I am praying that Jay will simply need an antibiotic for a quick recovery from this first surgery.

I love you all. Thank you for your love, prayers, emails, and cards. You and your kindnesses have lifted our hearts!


Susan